LEADERS - not followers

Sunday, April 24, 2011


Posted to Writers Island


On Friday nights we go to the pub
And meet up with a guy called ‘Fast’ Pete Jones
Asking him to shout up a round is
Like trying to get blood out of a stone

It’s true to say that Fast is really slow
But in a way he can be really fast
He’s always the first to ask ‘Who’s shout?’
But he makes sure he always shouts up last

He times his arrival at the pub
To coincide with the first pint being downed
So he’ll be last in line for the shout
And shouldn’t need to get a second round

Our mate Fast is a man with a plan
On a mission to dodge the rounds
Get drunk as a skunk, eat a takeaway
And all for only twenty pounds

Or sovs, or nicker, or even quid
Whichever slang term you prefer
Or years ago you could have said ‘notes’
When pound coins were still made out of paper

But what’s it gonna be on the menu tonight?
If Fast doesn’t waste his money on a cab
Maybe steak and kidney pudding and chips
Or perhaps he’ll get a doner kebab

He can never rush decisions like these
(We’ll make him buy more beer if we can)
But one thing’s for sure with our mate Fast
He’ll make certain he achieves his plan