LEADERS - not followers

Monday, April 18, 2011

DAY 18 - NAPOWRIMO 2011

Posted to Writers Island
Brenda at Beyond the Bozone set us a wordle using the following words:
Silver, phrase, scars, inept, forever, message, flattery, perfume, sprouting, crescendo, crude, recounts


ANNIVERSARY

Unopened package
Contents; predictable

Printed message
‘FOREVER BEAUTIFUL’

Same ironic phrase
Same crude attempt at flattery

This gift of cheap perfume
The same inept apology
He uses every year

Anger taking root
Sprouting dark thoughts
That build to a crescendo
As she recounts the incident…
The cause of those silver scars

Posted by at

16 comments:

  1. Dave KingApril 18, 2011 at 3:12 PM

    Love that last line.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stan SkiApril 18, 2011 at 3:17 PM

    Thanks Dave; I played about with the order of the lines, and thought it sounded better this way.

    ReplyDelete
  3. vivinfranceApril 18, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    It does. I do hope this isn't auto-biographical! If it is, my illusions are shattered.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stan SkiApril 18, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    Thanks Viv; No worries Viv, it's pure fiction.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousApril 18, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    A little menacing...I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Stan SkiApril 18, 2011 at 8:46 PM

    Thanks I'mnotaverse; Things like this happen...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mr. WalkerApril 18, 2011 at 8:47 PM

    Dark, but well-written. I can just see her sitting there, staring at that unopened package. I like that the last two lines just hint - you leave it to our imaginations.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Stan SkiApril 18, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    Thanks Mr.Walker; Not necessarily a sinister cause - just one that she won't forgive...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Andy SewinaApril 18, 2011 at 9:56 PM

    Nicely done Stan, you used the words so well!

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  10. Stan SkiApril 18, 2011 at 10:43 PM

    Thanks Andy; Some of them were words I'd used before... :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. flaubertApril 18, 2011 at 10:56 PM

    Stan, this is so well written, I didn't even notice the wordle words. The last two lines are dark, yet beautiful.
    "As she recounts the incident…
    The cause of those silver scars"

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  12. ElizabethApril 19, 2011 at 12:00 AM

    I like the poem, how it is written with the short descriptive lines. Got wound up in the images and didn't really look for the wordle words. Very attention getting and effective,

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  13. Stan SkiApril 19, 2011 at 1:05 AM

    Thanks to:
    Pamela; It started as something else, but a few amendments turned it into this.
    Elizabeth; I saw the images it provoked and concentrated on them.

    ReplyDelete
  14. GloriaApril 19, 2011 at 4:36 AM

    This sadly doesn't sound like a very happy anniversary. Excellent imagery in the final lines.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousApril 19, 2011 at 6:23 AM

    Great job incorporating all the wordle words in such a compact piece...not forced at all!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stan SkiApril 19, 2011 at 2:08 PM

    Thanks to:
    Gloria; I was quite pleased with the outcome.
    Whenwordsescape; Compact and fluent was my aim.

    ReplyDelete

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