LEADERS - not followers

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

TOP Revisitation


“Let’s have your last orders, gentlemen, please!”

The lady licensee was heard to yell
It’s ten twenty five, on a busy Thursday night
Five more minutes till the final bell.

“Here’s a shipping order for my favourite hostess
From a crew of thirsty punters wanting more
Pour a bucketful of Lager for the under eighteens
Stood there gagging, outside the back door
Bob’ll have a go at another pint of Mixed
In a Tall Hat, if you please
Add a pint of Snakebite on top of that
And a Vodka, with a Twist, not a Squeeze
They’re both for Poison Percy, the paralytic poet
He’s been supping steadily since half past five
If the venom is effective, he can chase it with the serum
He’ll be lucky if he makes it home alive.
The Captain’ll be drinking a Black and Tan
Old Arthur’s is a Double Brandy
Just for a change, I’ll try something different
Make mine a Drambuie Shandy
John just wants his Unusual
And Fred said make his a Cold’un
Take one for yourself, and ring it up
I know you’re partial to a pint of Golden…
How much, luv…? Is there any after-hours?
We all fancy a lock-in tonight
We’re never any hassle, and we’ll make it worth your while…
…You’re a darlin’ – here’s a score …call it right.”


  1. Ah, a marvellous Brit pub. Not many left nowadays - gastro pubs or plastic decor. Try talking to the bar staff and they think you're strange.
    A great shame - from a bitter man :-)

  2. How fun! I think I'd really like to hear this one out loud because it had such great energy just on paper(or onscreen I suppose). I loved the alliteration in the middle and the line about ordering the "unusual." Thanks for sharing!

  3. Don't you just love pub-poetry? I could almost taste the atmosphere here. But Stan, last orders at ten thirty? I don't know where you're drinking in Thailand but down here they're rocking all night.

  4. Thanks to:
    Anthonynorth; Based on my time behind the bar, and some of the characters and atmosphere I experienced.
    Kristinalee; 'The usual,John?' were the only words I ever said to one guy who never spoke, just nodded. One night, he said 'No, make it the un-usual - I'll have a Bitter' - That WAS his usual. From then the term 'unusual' just stuck.
    Andy; I'm revisiting The Lindow, circa '82-'83. Here, in Thai, it's like back in the old days now - 24 hr opening has been replaced by two sessions in many places, and 2am is the std closing time.

  5. do we have to drink to that? hehe :-) you have capture the scene of the pub. cheers!

  6. Thanks totomai;Since you're asking, I'll have a...

  7. Hi--new to your site--great stuff!

    I've never had the privilege of visiting such a fine establishment, except the Hollywood version. But this brought it to life. Thanks for your characterizations. I could almost smell the place!

  8. Hi beth p. Thanks for stopping by. Not such a fine establishment, this one, but fairly typical of a UK drinking man's pub. Not too many of them have survived to this time.