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Monday, October 13, 2008

TOP Internal Rhymes


Who am I?
Half of ‘we’ -
Stop trying to fly
I’m no longer crying
Tears shed
Put to bed a long time ago
Oh, I cried
Sure I cried - forever
I cried - tears have all dried
So I’m not bitter
Fitter now than ever before
Sure, passions paused
And in my loneliness, I doubted
It took a mighty beating
But I picked up
And started over, on my own terms
Oh, I cried
Sure I cried - forever
I cried - but not any more
An endless dark night
No distant light to guide me back home
Still, I forgive you
Do you have it in you – do you?
Are you ready to open your mind?
Find a reason
To rescue what remains of my heart?
…or not


  1. Hi Stan, I can see the story developing here but I'm not too sure of the form.

    I'm going to attempt the climbing rhyme form and will post tomorrow if successful.

  2. The repetition of the refrain (Oh, I cried), adds depth to the poem and a story of loss and growth. "Starting over on my own terms" is almost contradicted by the line "no distant light to guide me home". Key here is the sense of loss throughout, and resolving that contradiction between being alone and then hoping for "light" still. I'm also wondering if the title is almost too flippant for the depth of emotion shown throughout the poem. A sad but good read.

  3. awww :( , thats a really sad poem :(. .

    & This is what i interpreted from it,
    We hope for things to be better even through the tears . . And tears do make us strong .

  4. Thanks to:
    Andy; I heard a song and this fits the tune - a kind of lament to lost things that omly really partially recover.
    beth;Starting over/distant light means 'I' found my way with no-one holding a light for 'me'. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - so they say. The sad part of this is that it's not real strength, it's arrogance, brought on by lack of acknowledgement of effort.
    Great comment.
    fantasies of a lifetime;Kind of, yes - though, once the tears have dried up, we have to direct that strength.