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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Oscar Wilde Was Right

For Sunday Scribblings
Fantasy Dinner Party & Baby News

Vindaloo's all round - my treat...usually


‘Pacey’s’ doin’ me shed in again
Said ‘e was sackin’ the blag
Next thing yer know, ‘e’s givin’ us grief
Scavvin’ ‘n’ back on the rag

‘Sharky Starkey’ grafts as a parky
Smokes sixty bifters a day
‘Undred ‘n’ twenny six quid a week
Out of his green-keepers pay…?

‘Tosser’ Tom sez “Lend us a bluey
I’ll weigh yer in when I’m straight
I’m just off up town fer a turn-on
Man, yer a star; sorted mate”

‘Bazza’s’ got forty brick in ‘is bin
Doin’ a bit fer the crack
Rakin’ it in an’ givin’ it large
Taking the piss outta ‘Mac’

‘Mac’s’ off ‘is ‘ead because of ‘is bird
‘Oo everybody’s bangin’
She’s getting’ ‘er snatch out fer the lads
‘Bazza’ sez she was ‘angin’

‘Billy The Beer Monster’s’ skint ‘e sez
An’ ‘e’s pitchin’ fer a sub
Give ‘im some shrapnel, ‘e’ll waste it well
Getting’ leathered down the pub

Football fan ‘Freddo’ knows all the jibs
Got it sussed ‘ome ‘n’ away
Under the turnstiles; over a wall
Where there’s a will there’s…’Freddo’

* * *
That’s me mad muckers; seven sound blokes
Let me explain just in case
They’ll never raise a knife ter me back
…only direct ter me face…


  1. what are you going to feed them, lizard gizzards? eerie list. It would be interesting to see them together.

  2. Weird bunch for sure - but aren't we all...?

  3. Now that would be one helluva knees up.

  4. I loved this...what is the tune to that song?


  5. I like all the colloquialisms! Quite the bunch!

  6. That's quite a bunch if I understood it right. :)

  7. Thanks to:
    Anthony; Yeah, a Blaggers Banquet!
    B; Could it be 'That's what friends are for'...?
    Linda; Birds of a feather.
    Tammy; That's what my parents used to say.

  8. wonderful stan! and i too am curious about the tune!

    Pop Comes the Baby

  9. Thanks AD; it's an old one - rarely played these days.

  10. Oscar Wilde is a favourite - very clever and full of drama...

    "The English country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable."

  11. Thanks Janet; He certainly says it how it is.

  12. Thanks Marc; It's based on several people I've known.