GOING DOWN
As you already well know
it only takes a second
of idle conversation…
A lapse of concentration
transforms a situation
from random speculation
to scenes of devastation
as ideas develop.
At last obsession takes hold
concepts become distorted…
and it’s all downhill from there…
Disturbed imagination
interrupted train of thought…
Normal service is resumed
but due to circumstances
beyond anyone’s control…
out of reach of influence
of impartial, outside help
independent observers
or unbiased referees…
the mechanics of the mind...
dangerous daydreams… take hold.
Unable to sleep at night
logic and reason are lost...
A world of whims without walls
events without witnesses
instruments of self-neglect
and erratic behavior
are all at your disposal
with unlimited access…
No constraints, restrictions.
Decisions go unchallenged;
all departures are delayed
as new arrivals check in.
All appointments are cancelled
all ambitions unfulfilled
and of course, all bets are off...
Left to your own devices
seeds of apathy are sown
and uncertainty takes root…
And now you find you’re living
on a piss-poor diet of
pessimistic projections
and worst-case scenarios
with cynical points of view
until prophecies bear fruit
and new attitudes are born…
which aren't necessarily
what anyone would describe
as healthy, wholesome values.
No good deed goes unpunished
which is just as well because
at this very moment, you’re
only scratching the surface…
Locked in your troubled conscience
hidden in your sub-conscious
issues rise to the surface
which of course are followed by
appeals for absolution.
However, predictably
your petitions go unheard…
No-one knows, and no-one cares…
Someone must pay the penance;
you know that person is you.
But your painful, plaintive pleas
are not acts of contrition…
No need to apologise
for the deeds of yesterday
for which you have no regrets…
Actions you can’t justify
but actions nevertheless…
if anyone ever asked.
Behind your sinister smile
you've never tried to disguise
your answer to the question
ever since all the fat cats
went away… permanently,
leaving now fat mice to play…
inventing Dangerous Games
to play… when the time is right.
And so the games continue…
This piece is an extract from my ebook In Decline
first it sounded like the things slip away and the narrator can do nothing to hold them - i was thinking depression first - in the last part i wonder what brought him there - it is a bit like playing with the fire and walking to the furthest edge of the abyss - knowing where it will take him... tightly penned stan
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia :)
Deletenice rather thump to this...and it becomes a slippery slope with no chance of purchase...the mind will do just that if we let it for sure....overwhelming and felt....
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian :)
DeleteA powerful write!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ayala :)
DeleteExcellent, Stan.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie :)
DeleteI think there is a story behind this poem, a person behind this poem. It leaves me with lots of questions.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary :)
DeleteThe dangerous games that people play ~ Enjoyed the story specially this part:
ReplyDeleteSomeone must pay the penance;
you know that person is you.
But your painful, plaintive pleas
are not acts of contrition…
Thanks Grace :)
Deletethe whirling, swirling thought processes...
ReplyDeleteyes, this
Thanks HisFireFly :)
DeleteFeels like this took off on its own momentum.>KB
ReplyDeleteThanks for that :)
DeletePays Attention Red Lights
ReplyDeleteThanks Kate :)
DeleteDear God, Stan! Are you talking about the GOP in the USA, because they fit this perfectly. Strong piece of writing.
ReplyDeletePamela
Lol Thanks Pamela :)
DeleteHaha! I have to agree with Pamela.
ReplyDeleteThis is quite jarring and deep - a challenging and though-provoking read, Stan.
Thanks Zouxzoux :)
Delete