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Saturday, January 26, 2013

DUST

For The Sunday Whirl: Mirror, Straw, Curved, Edge, Raw, Scale, Vast, Skirted, Mist, Scattered, Tattered, Chimes.

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Took a look in the mirror...
Straw that broke camel's curved back...!
Liked living right on the edge...
On a diet of Raw Meat...
On a scale of nought to ten,
vast majority of plans
skirted the periphery,
dissolved to zero... Scotch Mist...
Now the ashes are scattered,
only tattered dream remains
of the dead good times, and
strange voice that chimes.
And that face...!
Is it
mine...?


33 comments:

  1. Tattered dreams are never good.

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  2. A fascinating melding of the words into a short mystery story!

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  3. Certainly know that feeling..always seems to happen in the supermarket reaching into the freezer for a tub of ice cream..damn those glass doors

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  4. What? You don't recognise your own face? (Most of the time I don't recognise mine either!)

    Whirling with James Joyce

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  5. Yes, to look in the mirror is sometimes a surprise. Who is that looking back at me?

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  6. Reminds me of the song, "In The Rapids", by Genesis in "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway." That face in the mirror changes so rapidly sometimes. Thanks for the reminder,

    Elizabeth

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  7. Absolutely terrific!

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  8. Thanks Green Speck, ATTR, Miskmask :):):)

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  9. ah yes, living on the edge has that tendency to bring us to the place of not recognizing one's self. Great arrangement of the wordle words.

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  10. Love that ending...been there. I like your use of cliche. It adds an edgy voice to the piece.

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  11. I think in this verse you have capture my father's life (He should rest). So free and full of life, then attempting to be responsible, and in the end questioning...but gone too soon to invent or reinvent new answers.

    Thanks for your visit to my Elfje trio. I've added to my story verse. It is now in Mr. Linky (if you are interested).

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  12. Thank you for your visit to my story verse. I think we were crossing comments.

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  13. Mirrors are certainly the enemy! However the sadness in this poem is touching where the realization of mortality strikes home.

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  14. I believe age does that to us, Stan. I look at old pics of me and say "Wow, did I really look like that?" I want a mirror that makes me look 20 years younger, lol. I can dream, can't I? Well wordled.

    Pamela

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  15. Well done Stan - great use of wordle words and clichés, no mean feat (as they say) - I had thought of trying to go this way but couldn't come up with enough common sayings; you've done a stellar job! Thanks for stopping by The Poet Treehouse earlier, reading and commenting - it's much appreciated.

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  16. I've also thought about that last bit. ;)

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  17. I like the random meander until you get to the point of self-discovery. Nicely done, Stan.

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  18. lol... I loved this, have done the same before.

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  19. thanks to everyone :):):):):):)

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  20. Poor guy. I especially liked:
    only tattered dream remains
    of the dead good times

    Scotch mist and all. Nicely wordled.


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  21. Hi Stan. Don't you hate that moment when you look in the mirror and feel like that? Happened twice that I can remember. Well done this week, I really felt the words. Just realised there's a Mr Linky on the site...duh...but now I can visit you. :)

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  22. Well, I could say been there, done that. Looks like we both have. It sure made a fine wordle. Good job. Thanks for visiting me.

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