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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Cradle, Perfect, Snare

FOR THREE WORD WEDNESDAY

RAIN DANCE
(A Song)

It starts raining - Outside
I start hurting - Inside
And although I’ve tried
To hide the tears I’ve cried/denied

You can see through - My lies
When you look in - My eyes
You’re so wise you realise
The guise I prize/despise

It’s a love/hate - on/off - yes/no - circumstance
I blow hot and cold - You admit/deny romance

Opposites attract
It’s a well-known fact
It’s a mystery why we adopt this stance

Is our freeze/thaw take
The mistake we make?
As we learn the lessons that’s how we’ll advance


It’s still raining - Outside
You’re still hurting - Inside
And although you’ve tried
To hide the tears you’ve cried/denied

I can see through - Your lies
When I look in - Your eyes
I’m so wise I realise
The guise you prize/despise

It’s a love/hate - on/off - yes/no circumstance
You blow hot and cold
I admit/deny romance

How do we compare?
You’re CRADLE; I’m SNARE
But you put me in a deep hypnotic trance

Not a PERFECT match
An unlikely catch
We both know the value of a second chance


We don’t count the cost
Of a fortune lost
We just pay the price…And get on…with the dance


It stops raining - Outside
We stop hurting - Inside

29 comments:

  1. I love the way this poem is structured.

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  2. Thanks Jeeves; It's a song really - well I did it with a tune in mind.

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  3. Ingeniously done. We're hard-wired for such problems.

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  4. Thanks Anthony; Yes - things always have a way of working themselves out.

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  5. Trying to come up wit ha tune for this is part of the fun. I read it. Then I sang it. Good stuff.

    Snare

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  6. thanks thom G; Hope your singing is better than mine!

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  7. I loved this! I could sing a melody of my own making!

    b

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  8. Thanks B; I'd love to hear it!

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  9. wow--this is awesome!!

    you should do a singing post for us!

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  10. Wonderful! These lyrics are beautiful...I would love to hear it to music.

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  11. I was hearing it as a song as I was reading it - glad when I got down to the comments - reads like something ColdPlay would do. Awesome!

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  12. I was singing this one as I read. Nicely done!

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  13. Thanks to:
    Angie; sorry - I don't even sing in the shower!
    Fledgling Poet; So would I - by someone who can sing.
    Dee Martin; Maybe I should try to write more song lyrics.
    Angel; You can sing? - I'm jealous!

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  14. It's lovely, I can hear it and if I could sing, I would.

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  15. Thanks Tumblewords; Vocally challenged? - just like me!

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  16. That is really beautiful Stan Ski, I love it. So you don't sing at all? Singing is my specialty...I'm just about done turning my 3WW poem into a song, and I'll be posting a recording soon.

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  17. Thanks April Lindfors; Hey - if you wanna put your voice to this one; be my guest.

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  18. I could hear myself tuning it in my mind as I read it:) it is indeed a song and it flows beautifully!

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  19. Nice. Will you be recording it? We could have 3WW on YouTube!

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  20. Thanks to:
    Just Someone; glad you liked it.
    Ann (bunnygirl); I'll have to audition someone.

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  21. sing out the tune too ! lovely lovely words... wanted to hum it myself ...

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  22. This is very nice! Love it's structure. ♥

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  23. Thanks to:
    Lostmermaid; Sing...?I can't even whistle!
    Bobbie; comment appreciated.

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  24. I like all the rhyming, it's like a dance, the way the words go back and forth

    ps, thanks for your visit

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  25. Its actually wonderful.
    Your rhyming was amazing.I have never read this kind of poem.
    Keep the good work going

    ~Harsha

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  26. Very beautifully written. Emotions expressed perfectly. Good work.

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  27. Thanks to:
    Lissa; Yes - a Rain Dance.
    Maglomaniac; I've never written anything quite like it.
    Daily Panic; Thank you.
    Megha; And thank you too.

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  28. Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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