LEADERS - not followers

Sunday, April 24, 2011

DAY 24 - NAPOWRIMO 2011

Posted to Writers Island


FAST

On Friday nights we go to the pub
And meet up with a guy called ‘Fast’ Pete Jones
Asking him to shout up a round is
Like trying to get blood out of a stone

It’s true to say that Fast is really slow
But in a way he can be really fast
He’s always the first to ask ‘Who’s shout?’
But he makes sure he always shouts up last

He times his arrival at the pub
To coincide with the first pint being downed
So he’ll be last in line for the shout
And shouldn’t need to get a second round

Our mate Fast is a man with a plan
On a mission to dodge the rounds
Get drunk as a skunk, eat a takeaway
And all for only twenty pounds

Or sovs, or nicker, or even quid
Whichever slang term you prefer
Or years ago you could have said ‘notes’
When pound coins were still made out of paper

But what’s it gonna be on the menu tonight?
If Fast doesn’t waste his money on a cab
Maybe steak and kidney pudding and chips
Or perhaps he’ll get a doner kebab

He can never rush decisions like these
(We’ll make him buy more beer if we can)
But one thing’s for sure with our mate Fast
He’ll make certain he achieves his plan

21 comments:

  1. Thanks Viv: A question we've often asked him... :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha! I've definitely known people like that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thanks Mad Kane: Haven't we all?

    ReplyDelete
  4. A friend of mine married him, I do believe...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thanks Dave; so there really are more than one...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yeah, I miss my friend Kevin. Haven't seen him in ages, the piker SOB.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks Ron; As I thought - we all know (at least) one.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ah yes, Stan. I know a few like this as well! Eats the most expensive meal when someone else is buying!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks Mary; I'll just have whatever you're having - he says to the guy drinking vintage Champagne...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Fast, eh? I'd invite him along for fun. My guess is the jokes go his way even when he's present. Interesting how you order rounds, I have never heard of shouting up a round until now. Real life provides good fodder for poetry. Well done, Stan!
    ~Brenda

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh, hilarious...sounds like he's mastered the art!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks to:
    Brenda; You got him sussed.
    Whenwordsescape; He's certainly some kind of artist...!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Is he from Warrington, by any chance? My husband complains he's never met more tight-fisted people than those born in Warrington.

    I really liked this one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Seems we have all met him, Stan. Enjoyable read for my Sunday, thanks:)

    Pamela

    Happy Easter!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thanks to:
    I'mnotaverse; He's known in Warrington...
    Pamela; Happy Easter.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I enjoyed learning lots of your slang in this piece. There were quite a few words not common to us Yanks over here in the States. :) Enjoyed!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Don't you just love a man with a mission like Fast Pete Jones :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. There's always at least one in every crowd. We know him, love him, and hate him all at the same time. Missed this one somehow, but still got a good snicker. Thanks,

    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  19. "shout up a round" - I like that - we're surrounded by metaphors all the time. Perhaps he needs to fast.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks to:
    Gloria;
    Iself;
    Elizabeth;
    Mr.Walker;

    ReplyDelete