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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Oscar Wilde Was Right

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Vindaloo's all round - my treat...usually


‘Pacey’s’ doin’ me shed in again
Said ‘e was sackin’ the blag
Next thing yer know, ‘e’s givin’ us grief
Scavvin’ ‘n’ back on the rag

‘Sharky Starkey’ grafts as a parky
Smokes sixty bifters a day
‘Undred ‘n’ twenny six quid a week
Out of his green-keepers pay…?

‘Tosser’ Tom sez “Lend us a bluey
I’ll weigh yer in when I’m straight
I’m just off up town fer a turn-on
Man, yer a star; sorted mate”

‘Bazza’s’ got forty brick in ‘is bin
Doin’ a bit fer the crack
Rakin’ it in an’ givin’ it large
Taking the piss outta ‘Mac’

‘Mac’s’ off ‘is ‘ead because of ‘is bird
‘Oo everybody’s bangin’
She’s getting’ ‘er snatch out fer the lads
‘Bazza’ sez she was ‘angin’

‘Billy The Beer Monster’s’ skint ‘e sez
An’ ‘e’s pitchin’ fer a sub
Give ‘im some shrapnel, ‘e’ll waste it well
Getting’ leathered down the pub

Football fan ‘Freddo’ knows all the jibs
Got it sussed ‘ome ‘n’ away
Under the turnstiles; over a wall
Where there’s a will there’s…’Freddo’

* * *
That’s me mad muckers; seven sound blokes
Let me explain just in case
They’ll never raise a knife ter me back
…only direct ter me face…