Hurry across
forgotten country,
jar memories
that disguised the wound
of yesterday;
stirred a stubborn mind...
conjured tree houses,
beaches, sand castles...
Really well done Stan. Love the “stirred a stubborn mind” idea. Gosh I so admire the concise whirls. You and Walt really master that. I haven’t got a hope in hell; I just blather on and on...
Sweet.And short. And to the point. I like it. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Veronica :)
Deletevery much enjoyed the image of stirring a "stubborn mind" - :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Pearl :)
DeleteSo concise - I can never do that with the wordle words! A stubborn mind can create many wounds.
ReplyDeleteThanks Robyn :)
DeleteGreat antidote!
ReplyDeleteThanks Irene :)
DeleteA true economy of words, nothing wasted!
ReplyDeleteA Dozen Whirls
Thanks MMT :)
Deleteconjured happy memories in my mind.
ReplyDeleteThanks Viv :)
DeleteI love when the words work with minimal addition. I also like your speaker's admonition to deliberately 'jar' memories, good and bad.
ReplyDeleteYour close up elephant is enchanting.
Thanks Margo :)
DeleteI always enjoy economy of words. I like your use of conjured and jar memories.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sabra :)
DeleteVery concise and stubborn minds hide a lot of wounds,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Thanks Elizabeth :)
DeleteYour piece ripples out in echoes of the origin piece for the words. It's strong and concise.
ReplyDeleteThanks Brenda :)
DeleteA stubborn mind often forgets the good things..i am glad those tree houses and sandcastles came back..
ReplyDeleteThanks Jaerose :)
DeleteHow many times do we end up back in the country of jars? Stubbornness and hurry could be to blame. But I am not so sure anymore. Great write.
ReplyDeleteThanks Teri :)
DeleteWonderfully done with so few words!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Annell :)
DeleteIt is amazing how concise one can be and still tell a story.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your visit :)
Thanks Jules :)
DeleteBrilliant use of the words, Stan! Short and so succinct!
ReplyDeleteThanks Marianne :)
Deletecontemplative. brilliant! i think of someone caught in another country in
ReplyDeletetheir own mind.
Thanks Paige :)
DeleteWhat a great effort only 22 words in total! Is that your best achievement so far?
ReplyDeleteThanks Old Egg... Think so :)
DeleteReally well done Stan. Love the “stirred a stubborn mind” idea. Gosh I so admire the concise whirls. You and Walt really master that. I haven’t got a hope in hell; I just blather on and on...
ReplyDeleteThanks Veronica :)
DeleteWell done, indeed. I especially like: "memories
ReplyDeletethat disguised the wound
of yesterday;"
Thanks Mad Kane :)
DeleteSand castles! Why didn't I think of sand castles? I like it.
ReplyDeleteThanks JCM :)
Deleteminimalism
ReplyDeletevery well done
i like it.
Cheers!
JzN
Thanks JzN :)
DeleteEconomic and to the point, Stan. Good poem.
ReplyDeletePamela
Thanks Pamela )
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete