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Saturday, January 26, 2013

DUST

For The Sunday Whirl: Mirror, Straw, Curved, Edge, Raw, Scale, Vast, Skirted, Mist, Scattered, Tattered, Chimes.

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Took a look in the mirror...
Straw that broke camel's curved back...!
Liked living right on the edge...
On a diet of Raw Meat...
On a scale of nought to ten,
vast majority of plans
skirted the periphery,
dissolved to zero... Scotch Mist...
Now the ashes are scattered,
only tattered dream remains
of the dead good times, and
strange voice that chimes.
And that face...!
Is it
mine...?


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33 comments:

  1. Madeleine Begun KaneJanuary 27, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    Well done!

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  2. Stan SkiJanuary 27, 2013 at 3:21 PM

    Thanks Mad Kane :)

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  3. vivinfranceJanuary 27, 2013 at 5:11 PM

    Great wordling.

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  4. UnknownJanuary 27, 2013 at 5:35 PM

    Tattered dreams are never good.

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  5. J Cosmo NewberyJanuary 27, 2013 at 5:36 PM

    A fascinating melding of the words into a short mystery story!

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  6. Stan SkiJanuary 27, 2013 at 5:42 PM

    Thanks Viv, Robyn, JCN :):):)

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  7. Jae RoseJanuary 27, 2013 at 6:20 PM

    Certainly know that feeling..always seems to happen in the supermarket reaching into the freezer for a tub of ice cream..damn those glass doors

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  8. Stan SkiJanuary 27, 2013 at 6:33 PM

    Thanks Jaerose :)

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  9. Magical Mystical TeacherJanuary 27, 2013 at 7:37 PM

    What? You don't recognise your own face? (Most of the time I don't recognise mine either!)

    Whirling with James Joyce

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  10. Stan SkiJanuary 27, 2013 at 8:00 PM

    Thanks MMT :)

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  11. annell4January 27, 2013 at 9:08 PM

    Yes, to look in the mirror is sometimes a surprise. Who is that looking back at me?

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  12. Stan SkiJanuary 27, 2013 at 9:29 PM

    Thanks Annell :)

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  13. Amrit SinhaJanuary 27, 2013 at 9:55 PM

    Wow ... loved it !!!

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  14. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2013 at 10:33 PM

    Reminds me of the song, "In The Rapids", by Genesis in "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway." That face in the mirror changes so rapidly sometimes. Thanks for the reminder,

    Elizabeth

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  15. AnonymousJanuary 27, 2013 at 10:43 PM

    Absolutely terrific!

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  16. Stan SkiJanuary 27, 2013 at 11:15 PM

    Thanks Green Speck, ATTR, Miskmask :):):)

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  17. Paula Wanken - When Words EscapeJanuary 28, 2013 at 12:09 AM

    ah yes, living on the edge has that tendency to bring us to the place of not recognizing one's self. Great arrangement of the wordle words.

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  18. brenda wJanuary 28, 2013 at 12:16 AM

    Love that ending...been there. I like your use of cliche. It adds an edgy voice to the piece.

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  19. Stan SkiJanuary 28, 2013 at 2:11 AM

    Thanks Paula, Brenda :):)

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  20. JulesJanuary 28, 2013 at 2:57 AM

    I think in this verse you have capture my father's life (He should rest). So free and full of life, then attempting to be responsible, and in the end questioning...but gone too soon to invent or reinvent new answers.

    Thanks for your visit to my Elfje trio. I've added to my story verse. It is now in Mr. Linky (if you are interested).

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  21. JulesJanuary 28, 2013 at 3:03 AM

    Thank you for your visit to my story verse. I think we were crossing comments.

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  22. Stan SkiJanuary 28, 2013 at 3:11 AM

    Thanks Jules :)

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  23. Old EggJanuary 28, 2013 at 3:54 AM

    Mirrors are certainly the enemy! However the sadness in this poem is touching where the realization of mortality strikes home.

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  24. flaubertJanuary 28, 2013 at 4:11 AM

    I believe age does that to us, Stan. I look at old pics of me and say "Wow, did I really look like that?" I want a mirror that makes me look 20 years younger, lol. I can dream, can't I? Well wordled.

    Pamela

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  25. S.E.IngrahamJanuary 28, 2013 at 5:10 AM

    Well done Stan - great use of wordle words and clichés, no mean feat (as they say) - I had thought of trying to go this way but couldn't come up with enough common sayings; you've done a stellar job! Thanks for stopping by The Poet Treehouse earlier, reading and commenting - it's much appreciated.

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  26. AnonymousJanuary 28, 2013 at 5:34 AM

    I've also thought about that last bit. ;)

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  27. Walt WojtanikJanuary 28, 2013 at 5:35 AM

    I like the random meander until you get to the point of self-discovery. Nicely done, Stan.

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  28. Laurie KolpJanuary 28, 2013 at 6:05 AM

    lol... I loved this, have done the same before.

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  29. Stan SkiJanuary 28, 2013 at 6:22 AM

    thanks to everyone :):):):):):)

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  30. nanJanuary 28, 2013 at 6:39 AM

    Poor guy. I especially liked:
    only tattered dream remains
    of the dead good times

    Scotch mist and all. Nicely wordled.


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  31. Veronica RothJanuary 28, 2013 at 7:43 AM

    Hi Stan. Don't you hate that moment when you look in the mirror and feel like that? Happened twice that I can remember. Well done this week, I really felt the words. Just realised there's a Mr Linky on the site...duh...but now I can visit you. :)

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  32. CherylJanuary 28, 2013 at 11:39 AM

    Well, I could say been there, done that. Looks like we both have. It sure made a fine wordle. Good job. Thanks for visiting me.

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  33. Stan SkiJanuary 28, 2013 at 3:05 PM

    Thanks again :):):)

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