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Took a look in the mirror...
Straw that broke camel's curved back...!
Liked living right on the edge...
On a diet of Raw Meat...
On a scale of nought to ten,
vast majority of plans
skirted the periphery,
dissolved to zero... Scotch Mist...
Now the ashes are scattered,
only tattered dream remains
of the dead good times, and
strange voice that chimes.
And that face...!
Is it
mine...?
Well done!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mad Kane :)
ReplyDeleteGreat wordling.
ReplyDeleteTattered dreams are never good.
ReplyDeleteA fascinating melding of the words into a short mystery story!
ReplyDeleteThanks Viv, Robyn, JCN :):):)
ReplyDeleteCertainly know that feeling..always seems to happen in the supermarket reaching into the freezer for a tub of ice cream..damn those glass doors
ReplyDeleteThanks Jaerose :)
ReplyDeleteWhat? You don't recognise your own face? (Most of the time I don't recognise mine either!)
ReplyDeleteWhirling with James Joyce
Thanks MMT :)
ReplyDeleteYes, to look in the mirror is sometimes a surprise. Who is that looking back at me?
ReplyDeleteThanks Annell :)
ReplyDeleteWow ... loved it !!!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the song, "In The Rapids", by Genesis in "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway." That face in the mirror changes so rapidly sometimes. Thanks for the reminder,
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
Absolutely terrific!
ReplyDeleteThanks Green Speck, ATTR, Miskmask :):):)
ReplyDeleteah yes, living on the edge has that tendency to bring us to the place of not recognizing one's self. Great arrangement of the wordle words.
ReplyDeleteLove that ending...been there. I like your use of cliche. It adds an edgy voice to the piece.
ReplyDeleteThanks Paula, Brenda :):)
ReplyDeleteI think in this verse you have capture my father's life (He should rest). So free and full of life, then attempting to be responsible, and in the end questioning...but gone too soon to invent or reinvent new answers.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your visit to my Elfje trio. I've added to my story verse. It is now in Mr. Linky (if you are interested).
Thank you for your visit to my story verse. I think we were crossing comments.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jules :)
ReplyDeleteMirrors are certainly the enemy! However the sadness in this poem is touching where the realization of mortality strikes home.
ReplyDeleteI believe age does that to us, Stan. I look at old pics of me and say "Wow, did I really look like that?" I want a mirror that makes me look 20 years younger, lol. I can dream, can't I? Well wordled.
ReplyDeletePamela
Well done Stan - great use of wordle words and clichés, no mean feat (as they say) - I had thought of trying to go this way but couldn't come up with enough common sayings; you've done a stellar job! Thanks for stopping by The Poet Treehouse earlier, reading and commenting - it's much appreciated.
ReplyDeleteI've also thought about that last bit. ;)
ReplyDeleteI like the random meander until you get to the point of self-discovery. Nicely done, Stan.
ReplyDeletelol... I loved this, have done the same before.
ReplyDeletethanks to everyone :):):):):):)
ReplyDeletePoor guy. I especially liked:
ReplyDeleteonly tattered dream remains
of the dead good times
Scotch mist and all. Nicely wordled.
Hi Stan. Don't you hate that moment when you look in the mirror and feel like that? Happened twice that I can remember. Well done this week, I really felt the words. Just realised there's a Mr Linky on the site...duh...but now I can visit you. :)
ReplyDeleteWell, I could say been there, done that. Looks like we both have. It sure made a fine wordle. Good job. Thanks for visiting me.
ReplyDeleteThanks again :):):)
ReplyDelete