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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Cradle, Perfect, Snare

FOR THREE WORD WEDNESDAY

RAIN DANCE
(A Song)

It starts raining - Outside
I start hurting - Inside
And although I’ve tried
To hide the tears I’ve cried/denied

You can see through - My lies
When you look in - My eyes
You’re so wise you realise
The guise I prize/despise

It’s a love/hate - on/off - yes/no - circumstance
I blow hot and cold - You admit/deny romance

Opposites attract
It’s a well-known fact
It’s a mystery why we adopt this stance

Is our freeze/thaw take
The mistake we make?
As we learn the lessons that’s how we’ll advance


It’s still raining - Outside
You’re still hurting - Inside
And although you’ve tried
To hide the tears you’ve cried/denied

I can see through - Your lies
When I look in - Your eyes
I’m so wise I realise
The guise you prize/despise

It’s a love/hate - on/off - yes/no circumstance
You blow hot and cold
I admit/deny romance

How do we compare?
You’re CRADLE; I’m SNARE
But you put me in a deep hypnotic trance

Not a PERFECT match
An unlikely catch
We both know the value of a second chance


We don’t count the cost
Of a fortune lost
We just pay the price…And get on…with the dance


It stops raining - Outside
We stop hurting - Inside…
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29 comments:

  1. JeevesJuly 22, 2009 at 8:05 PM

    I love the way this poem is structured.

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  2. Stan SkiJuly 22, 2009 at 8:10 PM

    Thanks Jeeves; It's a song really - well I did it with a tune in mind.

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  3. anthonynorthJuly 22, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    Ingeniously done. We're hard-wired for such problems.

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  4. Stan SkiJuly 22, 2009 at 8:48 PM

    Thanks Anthony; Yes - things always have a way of working themselves out.

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  5. Thom GabrukiewiczJuly 22, 2009 at 8:58 PM

    Trying to come up wit ha tune for this is part of the fun. I read it. Then I sang it. Good stuff.

    Snare

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  6. Stan SkiJuly 22, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    thanks thom G; Hope your singing is better than mine!

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  7. bJuly 22, 2009 at 10:12 PM

    I loved this! I could sing a melody of my own making!

    b

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  8. Stan SkiJuly 22, 2009 at 10:15 PM

    Thanks B; I'd love to hear it!

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  9. angieJuly 22, 2009 at 11:05 PM

    wow--this is awesome!!

    you should do a singing post for us!

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  10. Sherri B.July 23, 2009 at 3:18 AM

    Wonderful! These lyrics are beautiful...I would love to hear it to music.

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  11. Dee MartinJuly 23, 2009 at 3:27 AM

    I was hearing it as a song as I was reading it - glad when I got down to the comments - reads like something ColdPlay would do. Awesome!

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  12. AngelJuly 23, 2009 at 6:48 AM

    I was singing this one as I read. Nicely done!

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  13. Stan SkiJuly 23, 2009 at 8:25 AM

    Thanks to:
    Angie; sorry - I don't even sing in the shower!
    Fledgling Poet; So would I - by someone who can sing.
    Dee Martin; Maybe I should try to write more song lyrics.
    Angel; You can sing? - I'm jealous!

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  14. Tumblewords:July 23, 2009 at 8:55 AM

    It's lovely, I can hear it and if I could sing, I would.

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  15. Stan SkiJuly 23, 2009 at 8:59 AM

    Thanks Tumblewords; Vocally challenged? - just like me!

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  16. AprilJuly 23, 2009 at 9:21 AM

    That is really beautiful Stan Ski, I love it. So you don't sing at all? Singing is my specialty...I'm just about done turning my 3WW poem into a song, and I'll be posting a recording soon.

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  17. Stan SkiJuly 23, 2009 at 9:30 AM

    Thanks April Lindfors; Hey - if you wanna put your voice to this one; be my guest.

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  18. Anya PadyamJuly 23, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    I could hear myself tuning it in my mind as I read it:) it is indeed a song and it flows beautifully!

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  19. Ann (bunnygirl)July 23, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    Nice. Will you be recording it? We could have 3WW on YouTube!

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  20. Stan SkiJuly 23, 2009 at 2:05 PM

    Thanks to:
    Just Someone; glad you liked it.
    Ann (bunnygirl); I'll have to audition someone.

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  21. AnonymousJuly 23, 2009 at 2:59 PM

    sing out the tune too ! lovely lovely words... wanted to hum it myself ...

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  22. BobbieJuly 24, 2009 at 1:07 AM

    This is very nice! Love it's structure. ♥

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  23. Stan SkiJuly 24, 2009 at 7:42 AM

    Thanks to:
    Lostmermaid; Sing...?I can't even whistle!
    Bobbie; comment appreciated.

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  24. lissaJuly 24, 2009 at 10:16 AM

    I like all the rhyming, it's like a dance, the way the words go back and forth

    ps, thanks for your visit

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  25. maglomaniacJuly 24, 2009 at 3:06 PM

    Its actually wonderful.
    Your rhyming was amazing.I have never read this kind of poem.
    Keep the good work going

    ~Harsha

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  26. Daily PanicJuly 24, 2009 at 10:35 PM

    LOVE this.

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  27. MeghaJuly 24, 2009 at 10:41 PM

    Very beautifully written. Emotions expressed perfectly. Good work.

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  28. Stan SkiJuly 25, 2009 at 5:18 AM

    Thanks to:
    Lissa; Yes - a Rain Dance.
    Maglomaniac; I've never written anything quite like it.
    Daily Panic; Thank you.
    Megha; And thank you too.

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  29. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

    ReplyDelete

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