CHILL
Her appearance was totally unexpected and her surroundings, though vaguely familiar were at the same time unusual. Instead of her customary preference to soft pastel shades, she wore a long, black cape, buttoned to the neck. The fur trimmed hood, thrown casually over her head, was speckled with delicate, white flecks of snow, fallen freshly from above. A trail of dark footprints in the icing sugar path behind her, led back to a point, where I could just make out slender tree trunks, rising and bowing to form a canopy of oversized leaves, enclosing the pathway like a tunnel. They faded out of vision in the descending gloom as a fresh fall of fine snow began.
As she opened her mouth to speak, an icy blast of air whipped her words away, whistling through the trees, and bringing with it a further, heavier fall of snow. A whirling wall of whiteness obscured the entire scene.
I awoke, shivering, disorientated and confused.
Initially, I attributed the chill I felt to the dream and my sudden return to consciousness. But as the chill continued to bite, I realised that I was experiencing something I’d not felt these past three years; cold. Not the artificial attempts of air conditioners, but the bone gnawing grip of winter.
“I’m still asleep.” I said out loud, immediately realising I wasn’t. It was almost light, so I sat up to take a look out of the window and try to make some sense of my dream. Outside, a thick blanket of fog, restricted vision to a few yards and an eerie silence added to my confusion. I inhaled a deep breath, which felt sharp as the cold hit the back of my throat. As I exhaled, a jet of steam shot from my mouth. For a fleeting moment, I imagined I was back in England and lightning flashes of memory reminded me of those bleak winter days, when it never quite seemed to get fully light.
You have set quite an icy scene here, Stan. I am definitely familiar with those bleak winter days.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary; At least winter's over now.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I feel cold even in summer, so ... your description definitely sent some shivers down. Yet, I hope, if your guy falls asleep again, "she" will warm him ;-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Mariya; He's hoping so too...
ReplyDeleteAnd there have been some cold ones in recent years over here. Great prose.
ReplyDeleteWhat a vivid picture you've painted...I haven't read any of your work beyond that of NaPoWriMo, so I don't know if this is a departure from style, but I enjoyed it very much. I'm always captivated by your words, Stan.
ReplyDelete~Paula
Thanks Anthony; Dec 2010 was coldest on record, while April 2011 was warmest on record - in UK... Crazy...!
ReplyDeleteThanks Paula; This is a short extract from a much larger work.
ReplyDeleteStan, The disorientation of waking and cold captivate the reader. Visual and visceral.
ReplyDelete~brenda
Aha! I was going to ask for more, and I find you have more ready. Please can we see it - your scene is intriguing, and beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteThanks to:
ReplyDeleteBrenda; I'm describing an actual event, which is always useful for that feeling of realism.
Viv; I can make more available with the right prompt.
Love this, Stan. You have brought back some memories of those dark winter days. We don't have them here in Mexico, and now I am quite sure I don't really miss them:) however, I do miss the change of seasons. Excellent writing.
ReplyDeletePamela
Cold guarantees restless sleep, I agree - especially feet, I've discovered. If they're cold when I get into bed, I can say bye bye to byebyes! LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks to:
ReplyDeletePamela; Hot and wet, or hot and dry is what I've been used to.
Jinksy; Yes, you have to get quality sleep.
I've read this a couple of times and there's something eerie about it. Gives me the shivers (no pun intended).
ReplyDeleteWritten beautifully all the same.
I got cold as I read this! What a great piece of flash fiction. I hope you will expand it. I want to know what happens.
ReplyDelete"I'm still asleep", I said out loud, immediately realising I wasn't. - brilliant words!!
ReplyDeleteThanks to
ReplyDeleteAndy; Thanks for stopping by.
Judy; There's lots more - before and after.
Andy; Last time I said that, I got a different reaction!
Lovely write. I can remember the days - before central heating - when waking in the morning and the 'jet of steam' exiting my mouth - or have I misunderstood you?
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Stan, loved your "whirling wall of whiteness." Lots of alliteration, in fact, and very pleasing. Wishing you dreams that are more fun, though...! Amy
ReplyDeletehttp://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/spring-to-life-again/
Thanks to:
ReplyDeleteAnna;
Amy;
ooh yes, London's winter twilight.
ReplyDeletegreat poem
amazed, lovely tale.
ReplyDeletecheck out short story slam and make a submission today.