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Sunday, December 30, 2012

OUT OF TUNE

For The Sunday Whirl: Pop, Stars, Ice, Flame, Strewn, Deliver, Tangent, Creek, Knead, Brood, Against, Point.

PENNY DROPS

surely
even ancient pop stars
must have memories...

perhaps of
a now ice cold old flame
...or two

strewn across the remains
of brains
that fail to deliver

just shoot
off at a tangent

minds addled
...no creek to paddle

no bread to knead
no brood to feed

...then suddenly

against all odds

...point taken...
Posted by at

20 comments:

  1. ElizabethDecember 30, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    Don't think it's only ancient pop stars that happens to, but they do make a very good example. Like your structure and economy of words and the elipses emphasize point being made.

    Elizabeth

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  2. vivinfranceDecember 30, 2012 at 6:18 PM

    You have described my state of mind exactly.

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  3. Stan SkiDecember 30, 2012 at 6:20 PM

    Thanks Elizabeth; Maybe I was reminded by someone... ??

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  4. Stan SkiDecember 30, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    Thanks Viv... Feeling a bit fuzzy myself... :)

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  5. Laurie KolpDecember 30, 2012 at 8:12 PM

    Hi, Stan- Your brevity and form are very effective... well wordled.

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  6. nanDecember 30, 2012 at 8:50 PM

    Great ending.

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  7. JulesDecember 30, 2012 at 9:20 PM

    Stan,
    This verse fits many professions I think. It does remind me of that elusive 15 minutes of fame that some artist had. Sometimes I listen to a radio show that plays 'One Hit Wonders' that's what this reminds me of. And then the media won't let go and we end up finding out about their lives ...things we might not even want to know.

    My non-story is here:
    http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/12/sunday-whirl-89-oddments-non-story.html

    Also wrote a Story Verse, that's in Mr. Linky at the Whirl.

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  8. MarianneDecember 30, 2012 at 10:44 PM

    Loved your pairing of pop and stars. So different from where the words took me! Concise and powerful!

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  9. BrendaBishopBlakeyDecember 30, 2012 at 11:03 PM

    Unique perspective and quite well done.

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  10. Stan SkiDecember 30, 2012 at 11:20 PM

    Thanks to all of you :):):)

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  11. AnonymousDecember 30, 2012 at 11:41 PM

    Facsinating. "Ice cold old flame" -- Read it twice; enjoyed it both times. Very good.

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  12. Stan SkiDecember 30, 2012 at 11:47 PM

    Thanks miskmask :)

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  13. CherylDecember 31, 2012 at 3:12 AM

    Surely more than pop stars have experienced the penny dropping. Heh? Nicely wordled.

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  14. AnonymousDecember 31, 2012 at 7:48 AM

    fun poem... the penny drops just thinking about tangential memories amidst the quiet and ..then suddenly against all odds...point taken...

    Thanks, Randy

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  15. Tumblewords:December 31, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    perfect wordle...fits many a mind, I'm thinking!

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  16. Mama PajamaDecember 31, 2012 at 11:21 AM

    I liked it all the way through, but the ending threw me off! I voted 'interesting'... : )

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  17. AnonymousDecember 31, 2012 at 7:55 PM

    My mind's addled on new year's eve so I didn't quite catch the point. But...happy new year Stan!

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  18. AnonymousJanuary 1, 2013 at 12:10 AM

    So nice to be back here reading your work, Stan.

    Loved the lines:
    no bread to knead
    no brood to feed

    Well done!

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  19. Stan SkiJanuary 1, 2013 at 4:30 PM

    A big THANK YOU to everyone, and a Happy New Year to you all...

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  20. PratibhaJanuary 4, 2013 at 3:47 PM

    Interesting thought. I sometimes wonder what would happen if one day the thoughts just cease to flow , the work left in middle and you have no clue what you were upto all these years ...

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